i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
