I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
