Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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