wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
