we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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