How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
