Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
