Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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