Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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