They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize