guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
