Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
