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he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize