how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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