would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I take back everything I said about communal showers
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Sorry about my life...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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