I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You made out with two different species that night
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
