i think my mom watched the whole time
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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