i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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