Plan B is the new Plan A
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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