I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
