Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Randomize
