He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
