i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
