great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
