paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
