All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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