I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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