So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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