sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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