UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
