I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
