Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
