remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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