Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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