it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
