he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize