you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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