all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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