Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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