i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
