I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
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