So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
