bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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