Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.

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(818): View more from California

If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.

(323): View more from California

Sounds like a plan.

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(647): View more from Ontario

TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this

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(973): View more from New Jersey

They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship

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(214): View more from Texas

Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad

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(919): View more from North Carolina

so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...

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