Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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