I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
