i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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