I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You made out with two different species that night
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
