I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
