would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
