let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Randomize
