My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
