Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
