remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
accomplished twins. life is a go
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
