literally had 100 drinks last night.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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