Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
