Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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