I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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