Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
