So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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