no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
