dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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