Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
