Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
